I’ve noticed a new trend where people are getting into relationships with their phones and it’s a little troubling. I can understand the draw of it because technology is amazing. These phones have almost everything you could want at the tip of your fingers and for some people that’s enough. Who wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone or something that meets all of your needs. The issue is that while you’re romancing your phone, you are missing out on real social connection.
Sure, you can keep in touch with people far and wide with your phone and social media. I think that’s great, but what about the people that are physically around you? They are getting neglected so you can check the latest update on Facebook. Is it really necessary to see what’s on your timeline while you’re out to dinner? No, probably not.
I recently read an article where someone wrote that their significant other was cheating on them. They weren’t cheating with another person; they were cheating with their phone. I can understand how they would feel that way. Phones are great in that they give you something to do in an awkward situation. You may be waiting by yourself for someone to arrive or return from stepping away. Many people employ this tactic in order to avoid awkward eye contact with strangers, myself included. Sometimes I wonder how much I’m missing out on by completely ignoring strangers and staring down at my phone. Maybe I’ve missed out on someone who could be a great friend. Maybe I’ve missed out on someone who wanted to compliment my amazing bows. Chances are I would have scared them away with my awkward demeanor, but who knows. Phones can turn into the third person in a relationship if you aren’t careful. They join you at dinner, while watching a movie and even in the bedroom.
This overwhelming phone love poses a question of can we really not just sit in someone’s company? Do we have to scroll to find out what everyone else is doing when we have a perfectly nice person sitting right in front of us? We may be hurting ourselves with this constant connection to information. You can’t be an active listener while staring at words and pictures on your phone. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to keep talking to someone who isn’t really listening.
I’ve been contemplating these things a lot recently and of course I’m guilty of it too. If I’m hanging out with multiple friends and they start talking about something I know nothing about, I’ll whip out my phone so I’ll have something to do. So instead of potentially learning something new about my friends, I am off somewhere else mentally. I also pull my phone out as a reaction to other people. If it’s just the two of us and you whip out your phone, I am going to take mine out too. I feel awkward just sitting there with someone when they’re staring at their phone. It makes me feel as though my company isn’t enough. I don’t like feeling like that and I’m sorry if I’ve ever made anyone feel that way. I don’t want to be that person anymore.
We should be mindful and present when we are spending time with the people in our lives. I’m not saying you can’t respond to messages, but maybe you can wait to find out what sally smith in another state is doing until you’re alone. While you’re checking in with her you are missing out what’s happening right in front of you.