People are always talking about their engagement stories and how magical their wedding day happened to be. Why don’t we hear about how much effort it took to get there? All the arguments, stress and compromises it took to make their so-called magical day. If I sound a little bitter, it may be because I am. I thought wedding planning would be this special time filled with glitter, rainbows and easy decisions. I didn’t bank on having to take someone else’s thoughts and feelings into consideration. I guess because most of the stories you hear are about brides who map out every detail with a groom who says, “whatever you want dear.” On one hand I’m happy my fiancée wants to be involved, but I’m also annoyed because our visions are so different. I don’t actually have a clear vision at this point. I’m still trying to figure out what I want the day to look like. What I do know is that I have a hard time dropping a large chunk of money for what is the so-called “most important day of my life.” I just don’t see it that way. I see it as one day in a stream of days for the rest of my life. I’m not saying its not an important event because it definitely is. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t label it as the MOST important. The day I realized I loved him is important. The day we have our first baby and those after will be important. The day I finally graduate college will be important. You mean to tell me that 50 years from now I’m supposed to tell my kids that the day I had a big party and signed a piece of paper was more important than the day they entered the world? That does not compute.
There are a lot of things that are important to me that I don’t go dropping $30k on. I think the thing that gets to me the most is the focus on other people. Weddings are basically just a big party to celebrate. I read an article recently that said people use it as an excuse to jack prices up. You can call to check a price for a wedding arrangement and receive one price. Then if you called for the same arrangement and leave the word “wedding” out then it will be almost half the price. Why should I pay a premium for goods just because we’re having a ceremony? Why do I need to throw a party for people I haven’t talked to in years? Why should I care if someone likes the menu I’ve picked out? Shouldn’t I just pick something that suits the taste of the couple? I need answers damn it.
To be quite honest if it was up to me, I would elope, but that isn’t an option. I’m trying very hard to keep my fiancé’s feelings in mind when I try to picture our “big” day because I want us to have a day that we can both be happy with. I’m doing my best to see his side of things as hard as it may be. I understand WHY he wants to celebrate with all our family and friends. I just don’t understand why it must be ALL of them. At this point in my thought process I just want something low-key. I don’t want a massive pomp and circumstance contrary to popular belief. I’m sure people are expecting me to want an over the top day filled with glitter and fanciness. And while I partake in those things daily, that isn’t something I would want on a big scale. I don’t want to spend time stressing over little details. The bigger the wedding, the bigger the headache that will come along with it. I would have to obsess about everything single detail. I know what you’re thinking; I don’t have to obsess over anything. Clearly you don’t understand how my mind works. I guess at the end of the day I’m trying to avoid things that cause my anxiety to spiral because I already have enough issues.
Stay tuned for a completely honest account of wedding planning. Someone has got to tell the truth here.