I’m gluten free now. I’ll spare you the sordid details of how I got to this point. I actually typed it out, but it’s really boring and even I didn’t want to have to read it again. The abbreviated version is that I’m allergic to wheat and I’m finally doing something about it.
I tried to do research about how to make the transition to gluten free. I looked at Instagram and searched Pinterest as one does when they need to know things. I found a little information that was helpful, but mostly I saw people making these elaborate meals and snacks with bright shining faces. I figured something didn’t add up. Sure, people who have been gluten free for years might be comfortable in their abilities, but where were the people I could commiserate with? Why is everyone so freaking happy? The massive meals were a little discouraging, so I kept putting off more research. Before I knew it the end of May had snuck up on me. I spent the last night of May in Whole Foods going from one end to the other trying to decide what to buy. I read labels, scanned for gluten content (there’s an app for that) and debated with myself about what I was actually going to eat. I got a whole bunch of nothing. I say that because it’s been almost a week and I still have some veggies sitting in the nice paper bag I was given. Clearly if I had wanted to eat them I would have done it by now.
I still spend most of my free time scrolling Instagram to see what people are eating. It’s infuriating, but I can’t stop myself. I’m so glad you had time to make this 27-ingredient dinner Carol. Maybe if you have so much extra time you could help me out. I don’t want to knock the people who make these things just because I’m wracked with envy. I’m envious because I do not have the time or the patience to even attempt them. I’m also super irritable because I’m hungry. I’m constantly hungry and I feel like I’m constantly eating. I read an article about a person who had gone gluten free for a month and she said she started her mornings with a bowl of yogurt and berries. Yogurt and berries?! That’s a side dish for me. I can’t just go from stuffing my face with a bunch of junk to eating a bowl of yogurt as a meal. What kind of super human body does she have? I guess not everyone has a massive stomach (actual stomach, not belly) from years of overeating. Snaps for you. This girl (me) needs something more to eat.
I have not found one blog that talks about the suffering. I cannot be the only person who has suffered through this transition. I know that I’m unique, but I’m not that unique. I crave bread all the time and even dream about it. It calls out to me sometimes. I miss being able to just go into a store and pick something up without studying the label. I’m happy to be eating more fruits and vegetables which are naturally gluten free because I was seriously lacking in veggie content before I started this. I also forget how tasty fruits and veggies are until I’m actually eating them. I would trade all of the vegetables in the world to eat a slice of toast right now. I would pluck every single one out of the hands of babies if I could eat toast without repercussions just once.
I have to learn how this process is going to work. The past few days have shown me that I need to work on my planning skills. I can’t just leave on the fly anymore. I have to pack the right kind of snacks so that I’m not tempted when I’m out in the world. In the lovely, bread smelling world. I’m going to need someone to complain to because I’m sure the people in my life are going to get tired of it if they aren’t already (hi mom!). Someone tell me I’m not alone here. How am I supposed to go on knowing there are cupcakes going uneaten right this second? Send help!
Photo Credit: Betty Crocker Website (what an adorable form of torture because I can't eat it)