I’m really striking out on the friend front and at some point I have to start to wonder if I’m the actual issue here. I’ve tried to make regular friends and have not been successful. I’ve tried making mom friends so my kid can have someone to play with and nothing. I’m not sure what else to do aside from putting a sign on my head that says “I promise I’m friendly!” Everyone agrees that it's hard to make friends as an adult and then still doesn't help foster a relationship.
At one point I had literally swiped through everyone on bumble bff. Do you know how many people there are? I didn’t keep count, but it was a lot. Maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe my standards are too high or something. Maybe I’m coming off as desperate and people aren't into that. It has to be something. If I knew what it was then maybe I could add a disclaimer to my “friends wanted" sign. “Plays well with others but has RBF” or “No time for drama but will drop everything for some good gossip”.
I prefer to be pursued as a friend and yet I have even been messaging people first. Completely out of character for me. I’ve tried being witty and I’ve tried questions. Literally getting stopped at every turn. I was vibing with a few people and then they ghosted me. I even made jam because of one of them. Actual Jam. It took forever and it didn’t even bear fruit, though it was delicious. I almost want to be that person who sends a follow-up survey asking people to please indicate where things went wrong and how they could be improved. It would likely end up on TikTok as a pathetic attempt at something.
It could be that trying to make a friend when you’re over 30 is impossible. You need just the right chemistry in the right location with the right interests. I wish someone would tell me where to go to find a pool to choose from. I’m willing to overlook some things that would usually put me off. Chew with your mouth open? Fine. Well…I guess that's really the only one. I wouldn't want to befriend someone who looks down on things I’m interested in.
I wish the way of making online friends translated to real life. I’ve made many internet friends over the years and even met a few of them in person. Something about finding a common interest online makes things easier. You would think that would translate to friendship apps, but I guess not. I’m still over here doing most things alone. One day I’ll have some local friends. Hopefully one day soon.